Questions We Are Asked
by Dr. Mary Kay Clark
Director, Seton Home Study School
I am home schooling five children. Do you have any suggestions for teaching some of them the same subjects together?
Consider combining students who could take the same courses in the same grade level. Children in adjacent grades may be able to be combined in one grade level for some subjects. For instance, in subjects like art, music, and physical education, teach the same course to two or three children. In subjects such as history or science, decide if the younger child can move up a grade level to learn with an older sibling, or if an older child would benefit by moving down a grade level with a younger child.
Consider also teaching the same subject at different levels at the same time. I found that if all my boys were doing their math assignments at the same time, it was easy to move from child to child to point out similar concepts. It is also easier to have an older child explain a math concept to a younger child while they are both working on their math at the same time.
Sometimes, when an older student has not been doing well, consider having him repeat the grade level with an upcoming sibling. The older student can help the younger student and the older student often becomes more proficient as he reviews and becomes confident in learning the familiar concepts. Of course, you also must be careful not to foster resentments.
Consider asking the older student to help as a teacher’s aide, even consider paying him a small amount. This gives your older student a stronger foundation in a subject area, such as math, English, religion, or reading, subjects which often can benefit a student by being repeated.
My husband does not really support me in my home schooling. Should I just accept the fact that he will never help, or is there something I can or should do?
It can be very difficult for moms who are teaching their children if Dad is never involved. While the daily issue might be that it would be helpful if Dad would listen to someone read or help with the math class, the big issue is that the children realize that Dad does not want to be involved, usually because he does not see the value of the home schooling enterprise. This does affect the children, either in their willingness or unwillingness to do their assignments, or in their disappointment that Dad does not seem interested.
There are some things, though, that you might consider asking your husband to do which do not relate to the home schooling. You might ask him to take a child to his basketball practice, or take a child to the dentist, do some shopping or pick up a prescription, or take the car to the shop.
Others things he might do are to make or purchase a couple of bookcases, help cook a meal, clean out the garage for a play area, fix up the yard for the children, repair the children’s bicycles, put in shelves in the closet. These things can help tangentially with the home schooling.
It is important that you constantly pray for your husband, and be sure the children are involved in praying for him, especially in regard to his job. Remind your children that Dad is working so that the family can have a home and clothes and heat. Try not to allow yourself to feel resentment toward your husband, as your children will quickly pick up on this.
I am a new home schooling mom. What does flexibility mean?
A key to success in home schooling is being flexible. New home schooling parents tend to be very strict with the schedule and the lessons. Actually, it is not a bad idea to start out this way, because you cannot be flexible if you have not even tried to keep to a schedule. Eventually, you will come to realize that some students need more time on math, and other students need more time on reading or English. Some students whiz through spelling, but are not as quick in vocabulary, so they need more time in one subject and less time in another.
In a classroom situation, the teacher must teach the assigned minutes each day on each subject. In home schooling, even though Seton has a schedule, it can be adjusted to the ability of the individual child, subject by subject.
Another area where you can be flexible is in the minor subjects. Unlike math and English, for instance, some subjects can be taken out of the regular order, such as history and science. You might find it easier to teach two students, usually only a year apart, the same history or the same science. Seton can certainly help you make that adjustment.
You should be ready to be flexible if a student is doing poorly in a subject by switching to a lower grade level. There is no point in your child being unhappy because he simply cannot learn a particular subject; his brain just may not be ready for some math or English concepts, or it is possible that he simply did not learn basic concepts in the past years. Some children are not ready to read until they are seven, or even eight. There are many unhappy students in schools because the teacher does not have the ability in a group situation to make adjustments for a struggling student.
On the other hand, you might have a student who is bored because he already knows the subject thoroughly. Students often cannot tell you why they are unhappy. Be flexible by not making this student do all the problems on the page. If he does half of them and gets them all correct, then move him along at his own pace. If you tell this student that you will advance him to the next grade level if he does well and progresses, you may find he will be ready for the next grade level in that subject by January because he has been motivated to achieve.
Don’t hesitate to call Seton and speak with a counselor about any situations which you think you might need to change. Perhaps we can make some suggestions which can help. Most of all, relax and realize that everything will work out, but it will take time and effort. What home schooling is all about is character development and living the virtuous life. While at first it may be tough, as you are able to understand your children’s learning abilities and skills and needs, you will learn to make changes to help your children learn better. These are graces which the Blessed Mother and Our Lord Himself will give you from the supernatural treasury of graces available to all of us.
I have an aunt who teaches in a school, and she is against memorization. She thinks children just need to understand concepts, and won’t need to memorize if they understand. What do you think?
The best answer is from the recently deceased American theologian and writer, Father John Hardon. Father Hardon supported Catholic home schooling and frequently spoke at Catholic home schooling conferences.
Father spoke about memorization as an important key to teaching the Faith. He said one cannot live the Faith unless he knows it well. Important facts do not stay with a child nor can he apply his knowledge in other subjects, if he does not memorize. Spelling words, vocabulary definitions, multiplication tables, and so on, all need to be memorized. While modern educators emphasize understanding concepts, memorizing is just as important.
Father Hardon said that memorizing is “indispensable.” “Without memorization, there is no education. …There is no learning of the Catholic Faith without memorization.”
Father advised home schooling parents to “Be sure you are teaching the words, and that the ideas behind your words are understood first by you, the teacher. Know what you are teaching. Understand it.”
Father explained that “The truths of the Faith are to be memorized through words. There is no choice. There is no other way one believing mind can pass on possession of the truth to another mind except through words…but be sure that what is memorized is not just the words but the Faith…”
Father constantly reminded parents about our responsibility to help our children deepen their understanding of the Catholic truths which they have memorized. Most important, he said, parents need to “make sure that the believing minds of your children understand how to put these truths they believe into practice.”
I have been home schooling my children for several years, but I think I need to remind them, and myself, why we are doing this rather demanding home schooling life style.
One of our former chaplains emphasized the importance of constantly reminding ourselves and our children why we are home schooling. We are doing it to save our own souls in fulfilling our primary God-given responsibility as parents, and that is, to raise our children so they will attain eternal life and happiness in heaven with Jesus Christ. Our intention as home schooling parents is to give our children healthy Catholic family values, and to protect ourselves and our children from the spiritual disease that pervades our current culture.
We don’t intend to isolate our children. In fact, most of us have good home schooling friends, and even good Catholic support groups, which offer healthy sports, music, drama, and other activities for our children.
Most of us try to teach our children Catholic values as we read and talk about the saints and what they did to help others, inspiring us to follow in their footsteps. Many of us are dedicated to celebrating, even in some small way, the special feasts of the year, such as the Immaculate Conception.
Each month of the year gives us opportunities to present lessons, for ourselves as well as the children. October is the month of the Holy Rosary, and the special appearance of the Blessed Mother at Fatima. Reading over the message of Fatima and the importance of praying for the conversion of sinners is not likely to happen anywhere except within the homes of Catholic families.
Some may say that Catholic family life can happen in families who send their children out to schools, especially Catholic schools, but in this current over-busy secular culture, parents struggle to find time even to eat dinner together much less pray together. If the only religious education that a child receives is an hour on Sunday, how will this counterbalance the false ideas the child receives from the culture the rest of the week?
These are some of my thoughts about home schooling. You can develop your own, along with your children. Spend some time discussing these ideas and more with your children so that together you will be reminded of the important reasons why you are home schooling. Remember Proverbs 29:18: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”